Jan 26, 2008

January 20, 2008: The Ballad of Rudy


January 20, 2008: The Ballad of Rudy

“He was tall and thin and rode out of the East
With a Mogen David on his silver breast
He was mean and nasty right clear through
He was mean and nasty right clear through
Which was kinda weird, ‘cause he was yellow too

They called him Rudy

Big Rudy
Big, tall Rudy
Big, tall, scrawny Rudy
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the race.

He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread
With a 10-gallon yarmulke on his head
He always followed his mother’s wishes
Even on the range he used two sets of dishes.

Rudy
Big, tall Rudy
Big Sissy Rudy
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the race.
A hundred and forty-one could draw faster than he,
But Rudy was looking for one forty-three
Walked into Sols Saloon like a man insane
And ordered three fingers of two cents plain

Rudy
Big, tall Rudy
Big Sport Rudy
The hundred and fort-second fastest gun in the race.


One day Mike Huckabee came to town
His aim was to shoot that scarecrow down.
Mad Mike said “Draw, and draw right now!”
And Rudy drew, drew a picture of ‘0l Two-Cows”

Rudy
Big, tall Rudy
Big gunfighter Rudy
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the race.

Marshall McCain’s boys was comin’ to New Hampshire at first sun,
And the people said “Rudy, we need your gun”
When the Marshall arrived at the break of dawn,
Rudy’s gun was there, but Rudy was gone.

Rudy
Big Tall Rudy
Big help, Rudy
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the race.

Well, finally Rudy got three slugs in the belly
It was right outside the Gator Deli.
He was sittin’ there twirlin’ his gun around,
And butterfingers Rudy gunned himself down!

Rudy.
Big, tall Rudy
Big, Dum-dum Rudy.
Big, Dum-dum dead Rudy.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the race.
---- Parody of “The Ballad of Irving”, by Frank Gallop

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