September 4, 2019: Pissing in Fireplaces, G7 Minus One, Simple Penis Envy

Our Caesar Disgustus did not disappoint, living down to his usual standards of behavior, as he went to Europe and, doing Putin's bidding, once again pissed in their fireplaces. As noted earlier, he had not left the country before insulting our Danish ally. Denmark, it will be noted, has suffered more casualties per capita than any country fighting in Afghanistan. Nevertheless, here is Disgustus creating yet another crisis by 'offering' to buy Greenland and then, when the overture is dismissed out of hand, insulting our ally by canceling a state visit to the country as well as a state dinner in honor of the Danish ambassador.  Not finished with the preparations for the summit, Disgustus then—on his way to Paris—informs the French that he will impose higher tariffs on French wine in retaliation for some affront real or imagined; and, one imagines more imagined than real. Meanwhile, back in Moscow, as the United States can no longer be depended upon to provide a state dinner,  Putin laughs and laughs.

One would have thought such beginnings would have been more than enough to set the tone but NO! Disgustus, upon setting down in Paris, informed the press that it would be better to have the Rooskies re-admitted into the G-7 group. One will recall that they were expelled after the downing of a commercial airliner and the invasion of the Ukraine. The actions taken by the European community were dismissed by Disgustus as a failure of Obama to stop the seizure of Crimea, telling the press and the diplomats surrounding him that Putin had 'outsmarted' Obama, and that the actions taken by the entire European community were somehow an expression of Obama's pique. 

You see, blacks by the reckoning of our intrepid Caesar--you know, the one who possesses superior genes--are all of limited intelligence.  Obama, being one of them, simply cannot perform at the intellectual level of, say, a wily fox like Putin, not to mention the stable genius of our current president*.  

The truth is that Disgustus suffers from simple penis envy. One is reminded of the scene in “Blazing Saddles” where Madeline Kahn, playing a character inspired by Marlene Dietrich, takes sheriff Bart upstairs and with the lights off murmurs “is what they say about you people true? Oh it's twue! It's twue”. “Easy, Shotsie,” replies the sheriff, “that's my arm you're sucking on”. Disgustus, clearly, suffers from similar stereotypical understandings, and this may go far in explaining his deep hatred for persons of color—along with his penchant for spray-painting his face, like some grotesque drag queen, in an effort to assume the mask of senuality. Disgustus, deep in his subconscious, deeply suspects that every European diplomat and leader, as every woman he's known,  would much prefer Obama; Disgustus simply cannot measure up. Simple penis envy drives the madman insane as he sets about enraged, vandalizing everything Obama accomplished.

Nowhere was this more evident than on climate change. As the G-7 minus one met to discuss the issue the chair occupied by the United States was, appropriately, empty. This, one imagines, mirrors the vacancy between the ears of our erstwhile Caesar who, while claiming to be an authority on the environment, nevertheless brought literally nothing to the table.  

In fact, as he left the conference, Disgustus held a news conference in which he pledged that the wealth that lies beneath the earth in the form of fossil fuels will not go untapped, boldly declaring that we will not make the sacrifice.

As noted before in these columns, the energy industry has mineral rights to five times the carbon which, if burned, will extinguish life on this planet as we know it. Trump, mad with penis envy, has just trumpeted our death warrant.

“An Br'er Putin, he jus' laugh and laugh”

Impeach and Imprison.