“ONE FRY SHORT OF A HAPPY MEAL”
----Banner headline on front page of “The Drudge Report”
For those of you too young to remember, or those with short attention spans or memory, The Drudge Report, founded by Matt Drudge is one of the first full-blown on-line reactionary publications to gain national traction. This was during the Clinton administration and Drudge was to report first, and almost singularly accurate, the sorry tale of Clinton and his affair with a young White House staffer named Monica Lewinsky. This gained him instant gravitas among ReSCUMlicans and others of a decidedly fascist bent. Drudge also became one of the go-to sources for that fat ass Rush Limbaugh as he daily snorkeled in the idiot wrong's reactionary septic system in constant search for material to gag up during his daily three-hour-long screeds.
So it comes as something of a shock to see Drudge openly declare what is so obvious to civilized people: tRUMP is a fraud.
For weeks now, Caesar Disgustus has been prancing about the land, doing the “double-jerk” (you know that dance on stage where he looks like he is masturbating two men at the same time) and telling his adoring audiences that Kamala really didn't work at McDonald's when she was young. The story goes that since she didn't list her McDonald's employment on her professional resumes, she couldn't possibly have held such a job. Calling her Lyin' Kamala (he has lost his powers of creativity here re-using an epithet previously reserved for Ted Cruz), he has of late vowed to work 'a shift' at McDonald's in order to demonstrate that the job isn't that hard and, of course, he can do it better. This is of a pattern for he told the auto workers that all they do is assemble previously manufactured parts out of a box and that a child could do it. All this in an appeal to blue-collar workers.
So this weekend it was put to the full test. Here we have video of Caesar Disgustus being introduced to the french fry machine. First he arrives in a suit, complete with his over sized clown red tie. After removing his jacket, gold cuff links can be seen on his french cuff dress shirt. He stands and listens as some poor hapless bastard attempts to explain how the machine works, how to use the timers and what do do when they go off. Then, donning the apron, he needs help and another employee, this one female, goes behind and ties the apron for him. Everyone who has ever worked in a fast-food joint is now shaking their heads, knowing immediately that this man is a fish out of water.
Well to make a not so long story short, it was a complete disaster. The fries he produced were soggy and not completely cooked. He failed. They transferred him to another job, this time the take-out window.
But the whole thing was a sham. The entire demonstration lasted about 15 minutes. Then this morning reports surfaced that the 'store' (McDonald's doesn't have restaurants, it has 'stores') was closed for four hours in order to hold this event. This event was populated by maggots, die-hard tRUMPers hell-bent on demonstrating he is one of the 'people'. He didn't work a 'shift', let alone report to this job every day, eight hours a day, week in and week out. He 'worked' 15 minutes and even then failed miserably. Not since Mike Dukkakis climbed in that tank, looking nothing so much as Snoopy sticking his head out to see where the machine was heading, has a presidential campaign stunt looked so ridiculous. Hell, it's even worse than that.
But he got his photo-0p, as they say, and it will fill the screens of Newsmax and Fox and Sinclair, to the rest of us he was just another McDonald's clown.
The media and the country are finally, after nearly a decade, getting wise to all this. As reported previously in these columns Cory Lewandowski, tRUMP's first campaign manager in 2016, admitted that the campaign had hired the audience in attendance at tRUMP Tower when he came down the escalator and announced that henceforth he would stink up the public forum. They used a New York talent agency to recruit his 'supporters' so that an illusion of popular demand could be created out of whole cloth.
More recently, the campaign has put “Fire Fighters for Trump” T-shirts and signs on the persons and in the hands of 'supporters' who aren't firefighters; “Union Workers for Trump” signs and T-Shirts on those who are not union workers; white people in a black church so that Disgustus can argue he appears to speak in black churches; in a move reminiscent of the Florida “Brooks Brothers Riot” in the aftermath of the 2000 election he is now choreographing people posing as blue collar workers who in fact are congressional staffers. One notable participant was a black man who worked in the office of the now thoroughly disgraced and convicted felon former Congressman George Santos.
TRUMP, it should have long since become apparent, is a thoroughgoing fraud. Everything about the man is fraudulent. His businesses, his family life, his political 'ideology'. It is all blue smoke and mirrors, all grandiose pretension. Fantasy become reality; you know, a reality show. And, oh yes, that “reality” show The Apprentice, the one that made tRUMP what he is today? That too was staged and scripted.
And what a miserable show it is. Here, at “Mickey D's” fantasy fails reality as our would be Caesar demonstrates beyond all doubt that his incompetence is so complete that even after they reportedly rehearsed this with him, he could not even rustle up a decent serving of french fries. Perhaps it was the 'serving' that did him in. Perhaps it is that for the first time in his life he is actually, if incompetently 'serving' someone. Or at least the prospect was in the offing.
Forcing himself to actually 'serve' someone. He couldn't bring himself to do that.
Imprison the bastard.
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